He was just as I had last seen him sane, though he claims the ability to feel again or for the first time, I do not know. I would be happy for him if I could, but as long as he has no need to take over the world again, I almost doubt that our paths will really cross much. I have no need to go to him save a dull want to.
Jenova is here. I know that she is, even if I cannot feel her presence directly, but she has burrowed into my body. I was more hers than I was Sephiroth's, but it appears now her attention has shifted completely to myself and Vincent Valentine. She is coming, but I cannot decide who her primary target is at the moment. I would think that she would go for Vincent since he is much more sane than I am at the moment, but Jenova seemed to enjoy the company of the insanes ones as well. Perhaps she will come for me first.
Will she kill me? No, she seems the type to kill all that I once held dear and deprive me of what keeps me emotionless and saner. I will have to fight again, but I feel that I am only slightly ready for that battle. Tifa will help me through, as she has the last couple of days as I have pushed myself through training, forcing myself to get better, to take on this task again. I am a hero, but I do not feel it now. I will soon. I have Tifa's strength to urge me forward.
I have gotten better about taking my medication because of Tifa alone. She has taken care of me completely, and I have learned much simply being with her again. I have forgotten what it was like to have such a caring woman in my life, and she reminds me of my lost mother in a lot of ways. She is just as strong and stubborn as mother was, and she cares little for my abilities or lack of at the moment.
We set out for the long trip the Nibelheim soon. I know why we are going there, but I do not know if I can go through with it right now. Vincent is his ally, and Tifa wants him dead again and has been urging me that he remains the enemy still. Sephiroth must be killed and could never reform, she insists and I think that I would believe her if I had not seen all that I have.
He said he would give my mind back to me. He asked me if I had lost my intelligence when I met with him. He was agitated and... fearful. It was not much, but I could see him for what he was at that moment, that Jenova would torment him first then finish what I had not killed off in the Lifestream. Sephiroth has never feared anything, and I will not either, not even Jenova if she comes for me. I am strong, even if I have lost much. I can still defeat her if she strays too close again.
But what would she really want with just me and Vincent? It makes no sense that she only comes after two when there were many the lead to her downfall. Maybe it was easiest to find them because of the Jenova cells that crawl under our skins?
The real question now is... who is hunting who? Jenova... or us?