I tried telling Wisley about it...he told me not to over excite myself and rest. The bitch thinks it's a medication side-effect, but this was different. That small dream was something I remember when I was just a puppet. Always a puppet dancing on a shattered mirror of sanity When I insisted to Wisley about what I saw, he gave me that look that said 'You're crazy, go lie down and don't cause trouble please'. Wisley is such a wanker.
They let me back in my window, but I see they have reinforced the bars this time. The sun is shining on my face for once, and it feels... I don't know anymore. I think I've forgotten how to really feel. I know that I feel like I'm sick... I look in the mirror, and I see how disgusting I've become. Wisley says I've only dropped twenty pounds, but...pair that with this pasty white skin I have... I look like a freaking goth on a bad day.
I need to get out of here. These people, these doctors, these walls, they make me feel like I'm not even worth anything. They give me medication, pat me on the head, and tell me to be a good boy today as if I'm some kind of child. When I ask Wisley to let me outside, he still tells me no, but he now has this expression of some cute plot that I don't know about. He's plotting against me. I don't like that...I'll kill him if he tries anything on me. I'll stop taking this bloody medication.
I want to go outside. I know it is bad when I dream about being outside. Now, I just want to go out there. Just...for a few minutes, but they won't let me. They say I'm not ready, that all of the side-effects aren't known for my drugs. Okay, so my eyes can light up a freaking room when it is dark, and I can't change facial expressions...but still...it's only outside. I doubt they would believe me if I promised that I would be good...makes me sound like a child anyway.
Damn it...why has everyone abandoned me? I really only have Sephiroth to keep me company at the moment...but I'm not strong enough to really make a connection with him, and I doubt he wants to have a talk anyway. He might be coming to kill me...if he remembers me at all. He doesn't seem interested in contacting me since I managed to make a brief connection and he didn't respond in that brief spark. No...I'm alone, as usual. I can't help but feel depressed about that because I thought that people actually cared. Shows how deluded I really am... Fuck them.